. but I have to admit, I do love being kept." I'd love that too."Erica nodded sympathetically. Then she gingerly broached the subject I'dbeen deliberately avoiding. "Speaking of Mark ... I think you said thebaby was due in January? What's ..." Babies," I corrected her solemnly. "They had twins. Born on the twenty-second. A girl and a boy. I guess that means they're fraternal twins ..."I turned my face up to the light, partly to avoid eye contact withErica, and partly to prevent my tears from running down my face. Theydid anyway.My friend reached across and put her hand on mine. "Honey, I'm so sorry... this is so hard on you, isn't it?"I dabbed my eyes carefully with a pinkie finger to try saving my eyemakeup. "Yeah ... but it's crazy. Like, I'm supposed to be happy for him?And for Pam? I mean, they have these healthy little babies ... one ofeach, even? Like, they have the perfect family already." That brought onmore tears, and Erica passed me a kleenex. Her face showed concern, andshe. He quit asking. And, ten months after the wedding, he filed for divorce. She was not unhappy. She knew he was not getting what he deserved from her, as a wife. She didn’t know if she would ever be capable of giving that much of herself to anyone. She still had never obtained any pleasure from their lovemaking. After the divorce was finalized she knew that moving back to our city was her only option. After trying to stay for several months Christina gave up and moved. She had prayed that a job would be available. Even though no one would ever have noticed, she was happy at our company. She always knew that I was the one who held no high expectations. Christina told me of her fears as she approached my office. What would she do if no job existed? How could she continue this woefully isolated life without even some semi-friends at work? She was slowly dying inside and was so entrapped by her past there was no hope of escape. My granting Christina the job was the only moment of.
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